I didn’t get this job either. The one that “Bob” called and spent 45 minutes trying to talk me into applying for. That one. The one that I was doubtful about, then excited about. The one that made my soul lift and gave me hope that I could be myself again. He just called and told me he gave it to someone else. Fine. I’m so glad I served as a backup for them.
I’m being really bitter about this for some reason. The truth is, I had some serious misgivings about the whole thing. We would have had to give up our great health insurance, I would have had to drive hundreds of miles a week again and spend time away from W. It would have been stressful and crazy and I’ve really been wondering if this is right.
In fact, on my way home, I was worrying about all those things, the stress level, the drive, the everything. And something inside me just suddnely said to the universe, “I trust you.” I trust you to lead me to the right job for me. So I’m going to try to get myself back to that place.
But first, there’s just a little bit of “Fuck you, universe, for messing with my head.”
