4:36pm yesterday, driveway of our house: Arrived home from work. Sprayed the bejeezus out of the bolts. They will bow to my will, I swear it.
5:12pm yesterday, driveway: Brought out tool kit. Success! After a few minutes, bolts came loose. Excellent. Left license plate in place until the morrow.
7:56am today, leaving for work: I am completely awesome, I solved the problem and even remembered to bring the wrench with me to remove the plate at the RMV. Plan is to attend my meeting across town 8:00-9:00, drive directly to RMV which opens at 9:00, hand in plates, get car inspected, be at desk by 10 at the latest. Yes, I am awesome.
8:09am, hurrying from parked car to 8:00 meeting: Gah! Why am I always late??
8:12am, leaving meeting: Okay, good news is that I didn’t have to be at this meeting. Bad news is that RMV not open yet, have to go to office first.
10:01am, in office: RMV online says that wait time is zero. I will go, hand in my plates, get car inspected, be back in no time. Once again I am awesome.
10:13am, RMV waiting area: Had to wait in line to get a number. Slip of paper with number says predicted wait time is zero. So, why are all these people here?
10:22am, RMV waiting area: Apparently RMV does not know the definition of zero.
10:26am, RMV parking lot: Success! New plates, new registration, the awesomeness continues. I will attach new plates, get car inspected, be back at office by 10:45.
10:30am, driving out of RMV parking lot: Since I need the car to pass the emissions test this year, I should probably drive around for a few minutes to make sure the engine is warmed up. I am clever and awesome.
10:42am, pulling into inspection place parking lot: Sweet, there’s no one here. This will be the quickest inspection ever.
10:47am, inspection place waiting room: Morning talk shows are a travesty of stupidity. I hate tv.
10:50am, inspection place waiting room: Inspection man comes in and says, “We’re all set.” Wahoo! “You just have to fix one thing.” Huh? “You need a new muffler.” Awesomeness is fading away… “See you in a few days!”
To sum up: new license plates with new number, new registration. And… brand new inspection sticker with a big red R on it. I can only assume it’s R for Reject.
As a result of my begging and implicitly invoking the damsel in distress technique, “our guy” will replace the muffler tomorrow. To be continued…