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4:36pm yesterday, driveway of our house: Arrived home from work.  Sprayed the bejeezus out of the bolts.  They will bow to my will, I swear it. 

5:12pm yesterday, driveway: Brought out tool kit.  Success!  After a few minutes, bolts came loose. Excellent.  Left license plate in place until the morrow.

7:56am today, leaving for work:  I am completely awesome, I solved the problem and even remembered to bring the wrench with me to remove the plate at the RMV.  Plan is to attend my meeting across town 8:00-9:00, drive directly to RMV which opens at 9:00, hand in plates, get car inspected, be at desk by 10 at the latest.  Yes, I am awesome.

8:09am, hurrying from parked car to 8:00 meeting: Gah! Why am I always late??

8:12am, leaving meeting: Okay, good news is that I didn’t have to be at this meeting.  Bad news is that RMV not open yet, have to go to office first. 

10:01am, in office: RMV online says that wait time is zero.  I will go, hand in my plates, get car inspected, be back in no time.  Once again I am awesome.

10:13am, RMV waiting area: Had to wait in line to get a number.  Slip of paper with number says predicted wait time is zero.  So, why are all these people here?

10:22am, RMV waiting area: Apparently RMV does not know the definition of zero. 

10:26am, RMV parking lot: Success!  New plates, new registration, the awesomeness continues.  I will attach new plates, get car inspected, be back at office by 10:45. 

10:30am, driving out of RMV parking lot: Since I need the car to pass the emissions test this year, I should probably drive around for a few minutes to make sure the engine is warmed up.  I am clever and awesome.

10:42am, pulling into inspection place parking lot:  Sweet, there’s no one here.  This will be the quickest inspection ever. 

10:47am, inspection place waiting room: Morning talk shows are a travesty of stupidity.  I hate tv.

10:50am, inspection place waiting room: Inspection man comes in and says, “We’re all set.”  Wahoo! “You just have to fix one thing.” Huh?  “You need a new muffler.”  Awesomeness is fading away… “See you in a few days!”

To sum up: new license plates with new number, new registration.  And… brand new inspection sticker with a big red R on it.  I can only assume it’s R for Reject.   

As a result of my begging and implicitly invoking the damsel in distress technique, “our guy” will replace the muffler tomorrow.  To be continued…

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